FADING PERFECTION FT. GRACE
Updated: Jan 4
Is perfection a worthwhile pursuit?
I remember the day I realised perfection is a hideous waste of time. Until that point, I'd often hide behind it - using it as a reason to not create, share or publish content. My evolving relationship with perfection has been discussed many times, so forgive my reluctance to revisit familiar ground here.
An opportunity to test my newfound 'perfection allergy' arrived when Gracie text me two weeks ago, announcing her interest in pursuing professional modelling. I replied immediately, reassuring her that I'll do all I can to help her build a portfolio of images to send to agencies. Why? Because this is the gem who, since day one, has been the official face of my merch, and not once since modelling my hoodies has she asked for financial remuneration. Yup, it was now my turn to repay Gracie.
By the day of the shoot (Sunday 13 December, 2020) it had been over two years since I'd photographed anyone - due to my long-since departed love of photography. My creative rust soon became apparent, as I fought with my camera to achieve crisp images. It was a pleasant fight, though - because frankly, after months of limited human interaction, hanging-out with Gracie, listening to Spotify and getting drenched with icy rain was a delight.
The next day, as I reviewed the images, something surprising happened. Faced with less-than-perfect images, I didn't give two shits that 90-95% of the shots were not razor sharp. In fact, the entire shoot was riddled with underexposed images, resulting in graininess across the board. Once upon a time, this rookie error would've resulted in me hating myself and sending Grace only the remaining 5% of useable images, but without flinching, I said to myself, "aah, who cares - girl looks epic, just send her the damn photos."
[NOTE: I've never had this internal exchange before - my longstanding commitment to perfection wouldn't have allowed for such cavalier ambivalence]
As far as I'm aware, these are the most grainy images I've ever published, but ironically, I love them all the same. I mean, look at Gracie go! Seemingly, in the two years since my last shoot, my obsession with perfection has indeed fu**ed-off. Let's hope my 100% success record for spotting future models has not x
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